How do i keep myself focused on study???????


Tafe ended yesterday (thursday the 23rd) wooooooooooohooo!!!! went shopping with job money to celebrate... bought ass sexy jeans from jay jays, PRETTY girly high heels with bows and fake laces on them at Imagination for TEN DOLLARS!!!!!!! down from 59 bucks :0 i can barely walk in them, but they are so cute :D and a pair of canvas shoes. i spent too much money :( oh well, since tafe is over i can work as much as i want, just having days off to go to exams. First one on the 5th, second on the 6th, third on the 11th and the last one on the 19th. no fussed if i do bad, i only did this course so i could come to melbourne.

work is okay. one of the blokes admitted that one of the other guys is really sexist towards me. the sexist guy really pisses me off sometimes, i cant say much cos he is my boss, but sometimes i need him to back off and let me do as i do. He says he hates female workers because he has to be nice and shit like that. i'm a country girl, and a feminist in somethings, and his behavior pisses me off.

its a workplace mostly full of men, and i fit in cos i dont expect any special treatment, if i want something i'll get it myself!! Argh. it may sound like i'm a spoiled brat, but if you had to put up with the guy standing over you telling you to be quicker, to get more done, and that he hates female workers, it would get you down too. Hes a nice guy, he just needs a reality check when it comes to me... how do you think i could say it without sounding bratty??

mum and sister are being nice to me.... what do they want???

Gooey, Mushy Musings

I'm sitting in my man's bed listening to him snore. i'm so glad he is in my life, i wouldnt have stayed in melbourne so long if it wasnt for him, i'd be miserable and broke. (not to mention starving because i didnt have money for food, and i cant cook anyway)

ive known him since i was 16, but i only met him this year. he makes me happy, after a bad day hearing his voice makes it all better. he hasnt run away even though he has seen how broken and twisted i am. I love him so much :)

Random Musings

sitting here watching one of my favorite tv shows "Two and a Half Men" so funny! So i'm sitting here relaxing after my ouch head and bad day. I worked again today, was okay i guess. i fucked up but my boss fixed it cos it was something i hadnt done before.

Tafe was as boring as ever, thank god this is the last week. i got kicked out of a class on tuesday, apparently i wasnt paying attention. i dont think i care, i cried when another teacher saw me though, i dont really know why. a bad day i guess. i was a bit shocked the teacher kicked me out, i seriously wasnt expecting that. i dont want to face her tomorrow morning, but that might mean that she bested me, so i want to show how tough i am. (its a long story to my insane -ness)

so tomorrow i get up at shit-o- clock and go to a class that i hate, all to save face pretty much. so this is another brain vomit post.

Life in the crazy world of me

so i have an examy thingy on tuesday, working all day monday at my spiffy job, then three days of tafe, and more job on friday. hopefully sometime in there i'll get to see my man, and see my friends. I really wanna buy a new book and i know i have the money for it, just gotta wait for the money and steal the angus and robertson card off my man. I love books, they make my brain happy :) I've been re-reading the Anita Blake books by Laurell K Hamilton. I also wanna get the rest of the "Tales Of The Otori" books by Lian Hearn, theres two more i need to get, argh! now i'm working i want to spoil myself of all the things i couldn't get when i didn't have the money, but i still need to save up for Christmas and all that stuff.

Then theres the exam things before that. BLAGH!!!! meh, i dont need to do well i dont even care if i do well, just seems a waste of a year if i don't do well. I know i'm not gonna do well in a class, i keep getting D's and i had an E, so meh, not worried.

And this is the end of my brain fart post. Stay tuned for next time's Brain Fart, where i talk about my job and all the other shit in my head.


Open letter to the bitch who dissed me.

Dear Broad,

The words that come out of your mouth don't show maturity. In fact they mostly are really bitchy. we used to be good friends, and now I don't want a damn thing to do with you. you are so arrogant it amazes me sometimes, and you tell me I can't live in the real world. You talk about your boyfriend who is old enough to be your father like that is something to be proud of. Yes, you moved from another country, and yes, you have a job, and yes you paid so much to do this course that doesn't get you anywhere anyway... so stop whining. You honestly think you are so much better than everyone else because you are from a damn overseas country, you think you are smarter than everyone else because you get good marks. You are so up yourself its just sad now. You told me i wasnt mature enough to handle the real world, but i've moved out of home and even though i didnt have a job until today, i was managing things well. What does that even mean? Mature enough for the real world, i certainly don't have the opinion of you thats really mature, you are friends with older people yes, you have a much older boyfriend and your father paid for this tafe course, how does that make you better than me? why in the hell do you think you are better than me? you've traveled the world, but does that make you able to live in the real world? i have the opinion of no. so don't you be arrogant and annoying just because you think you are better than me, you dont even know me.

Grow up and realise that its not ALL ABOUT YOU


Today has been a REALLY good day. i miss my man like crazy but he rang me this afternoon so I'm all good. Happy Happy Joy JOY!! damn i'd love a slice of piggy right now! i'm sitting here watching The Pacifier on tv (good movie) i've decided that Vin Deisel is hot, but he was better in The Fast and The Furious. Now im watching 60 Minutes, watching little brats getting credit cards. I'm not in debt to anyone just my mum and my flatmate. watching stuff like this is pissing me off, i dont live on much and these brats want everything, these are people my age and older! how in the hell did my mother bring my sister and i up to not want everything? fuckin crazy! i'm not getting a credit card until i have job security and i'm not getting a plan on my phone until i at least have a job. that stuff just annoys me, if you dont have the money to buy it in the first place, then wait save up and THEN buy it. You dont need it right away, if you have survived for years without it, you arent gonna need it right away. argh, my good mood is still here, but i'm annoyed at stupidity!

take care!
dont get in debt



i need tissues for my issues.
normally i'm happy and bubbly, i love being me.
when i get tired and stressed or something reminds me
memories come out of the box i hide them in
and ruin me
thoughts fly through
with no end in sight
of all the past things
i went to him that night, and he made me forget
the man who i dont think realises just how hard it is
for me to love... anyone
the feeling is going now
this i know
i'll be okay for now, i always am
it doesnt ever last that long
it just breaks me for a little while