Dear Potential New Friends

As I do not know you yet, please let me provide you with my ground rules.

1. Do not be unnecessarily rude to me, unless in jest. This includes calling me names or implying something mean about me or something i hold dear.

2. Do not call me repeatedly and if I don't pick up, leave a message and I may get back to you.

3. I can take a joke, but only if its funny

4. Don't crowd me

5. Do not ask for money

6. You will not be allowed to my house for at least 4 months, I must get to know you better

7. Do not ask to use my phone, if you have used all of your credit, why would i let you use mine?

8. Do not ask to have a taste of my food if you see me with some, its rude and leaves me hungry. If I'm full i might offer you some.

9. Do not equate your life circumstances to mine, we have been raised by different people and lived different lives

10. if you are lucky enough to be invited into my house, don't yell, don't have arguments on msn on my computer, don't eat all my food and if you are bored GO HOME.


In return I will,

1. Listen to your problems

2. Go out for coffee with you

3. Not give unwanted advice

4. Tell you when your butt looks big in that

5. Not trash talk your loser boyfriend

6. Not ring your phone unless its urgent

7. Not expect anything from you

8. Wont ask to borrow anything off you

9. Will be polite and keep my trashy mouth to a minimum

10. Possibly lend you something.


Take these rules into account and we might have the beginning of a beautiful friendship. If not you weren't worth my time in the first place. I give only one chance, fuck it up and I'll let you go.

Regards

Christine