open letter to an ex friend.

Dear J

I cant stop thinking about the very last time i talked to you. It annoys me that you think i ended the friendship over such a little thing. I ended the friendship because you told everyone MY SECRETS. I told NO ONE yours. You told me it was hard being your friend, and that you didnt want to see me. I was the one to come see you. You came to my side of town ONCE! and you couldnt be bothered coming to see me. You rang me from the tram on the way home. You wondered why i was so upset with you. I thought we were friends, hell i thought we were best friends.

The straw that broke the camels back was when you said you didnt think you could afford to buy me a birthday present, and then turned around and got your friends to pay for a tattoo. You didnt even want to come and see me for my birthday. My man made it the best day ever.

Now back to the telling of secrets. I admit i called you a whore, though i did it in good fun. You Broke the "no sleeping with a guy on the first date pact" and then you found out he was taken. I didnt call you a whore when i found that out did I? and somehow your "friends" guess i slept with that guy... when i had told NO ONE. I didnt tell you everything when i realised i couldnt trust you. You told everyone but me what I NEEDED TO KNOW THE MOST. NO ONE ELSE NEEDED TO KNOW MY BUISNESS. You said everyone told you to not tell me because i wouldnt believe you over him. Ya know what? i dont care anymore. i did worse to him than he did to me.

I ended the friendship because i couldnt trust you. You talked down to me, you made me feel like i wasnt good enough and you just couldnt be bothered to talk to me anymore. I know we went from talking every day to talking once a week for about an hour. do you know how that made me feel?

I always stood up for you. I defended you! But you turned your back on me and stabbed me in my back. You thought oh, lets not tell her shit WHEN SHE NEEDED TO KNOW THE MOST. I know you lied to me about what you did with M. And instead of keeping your fucking mouth shut you should have fucking told me about what A had planned for me, instead of after the fact.

You are a lying, ungrateful bitch. You feel so miserable about yourself that you had to make me feel crap about me. You told everyone my secrets, and i kept yours to myself. This is the last time i will ever think of you again. I have my friends i trust, and they can keep it. Unlike you.


Love from C

I've been given my first award!

*bows oh so gracefully at the feet of Carma * (from http://carmasez.blogspot.com/) she gave me my first award!!!!

"The award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day."


The rules are to Link to 15 blogs you know that are worthy of this award. I dont know that many people, but i know one i wish it had gone to. Mad Asthmatic. Miss you Girl.

So i dont really have many people to tag to. Though, anyone who reads my blog deserves it!

Lots of love... CR

So...

Still bored, but handling it better. I'm gonna aim to get out of the house and go somewhere everyday. sometimes i can't be bothered, and thats when i sit and watch Ellen and daytime tv (except the soapies (im not that desperate)) I also am becoming more domesticated (oh god) and actually cooking for myself, not just starving myself. Speaking of starving i have laminton things i havent even opened. :o must find them (i hide food in my room so the people i live with wont eat it) So soon i am going to go to the movies, i'm thinking of going and seeing "He's just not that into you" please leave me a comment if you've seen it and what you think of it.

Mum is talking to me again, but my sister isn't. weird family.

booooooooooooored

Yeah, im bored. no job, no money to go out, and wondering what is for dinner with less than 80 bucks in my bank account. Though it is fun to just sit and watch random teevee. I made some yummy spagetti and then some yummy potato salad, and green jelly :D

I'm trying to hard to be funny or insightful, but its just not happening, I somehow don't think that i'm that kind of person. I had another fight with my mother and sister... over a shirt of all things. I'm not going to her wedding.

I miss going to work.