Little Miss Obscure

Hello!

2010-01-17T19:34:00.001+11:00

Did you miss me?

I have a new blog now...

http://readingbyabooklight.blogspot.com/

and a new twitter account : https://twitter.com/booklight88

not sure what the new blog will be, but mostly it will be book reviews and stuff like that :D

find me over there!~

oh how long it has been

2009-08-25T23:48:00.002+10:00

Do not worry fair readers (all three of you) I am still alive. While it is almost 12.00am, I shall regale you with things i have accomplished.

1. I finished all my school work and sent it off
2. I'm left with money in my bank account and food in the freezer, fridge and tub on the floor.
3. I bought a cookbook (only cos it had a yummy cake on the cover)

Though I did all this in ONE day, it brings me to wonder, what will tomorrow hold? Welll....

I could clean my room (started at 2.ooam yesterday morning...)

I could go hang out in the city

Or

I could sleep all day.

I could also go and get my tongue pierced, or buy myself a present (helloooo classic!)

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. The possibilities are endless really. I found some paints I'd bought awhile back, i could do some watercolour painting... just have to buy some better brushes. I might just relax tomorrow. Do nothing, and read a book, listen to music, do some painting and crotchet some more.

Sounds like bliss to me.

what would you do on your next day off?

I dont normally do this but...

2009-07-25T23:13:00.002+10:00

I'm trying to sell my phone to buy a new one. I majorly cracked it with my phone and I want a new one. Does anyone want to buy a Nokia 6300? It looks something like this:

Leave a comment and I will email you with the price and specs. I still have the box and the instruction book. Its a good phone I'm just annoyed with it and want a change. Bought it about Jan/ Feb this year.

Weekly Playlist

2009-07-21T13:34:00.003+10:00

I have been a bit lapse in doing this lately. So here is this weeks

1. Wonderful - Rob Thomas (Cradlesong)

2. Ghost of Me - Daughtry (Leave this town)

3. Played - Introducing Ashlee Roberts (Pussy cat dolls - Doll Domination)

4. Jai Ho - Pussy Cat Dolls feat A R Rahman

5. No Air - Jordin Sparks (Jordin Sparks)

6. Bed Of Roses - Bon Jovi (Crossroads)

7. I Bruise Easily - Natasha Bedingfield (Unwritten)

8. September - Daughtry (Leave this town)

9. Not Ready to Make Nice - Dixie Chicks (Taking the long way)

10. Snowblind - Rob Thomas (Cradlesong)

Cds of the week - Daughtry - Leave This Town, Rob Thomas - Cradlesong

Day at the Museum

2009-07-11T22:10:00.004+10:00

FLYING PENGUINS!!!!

gorgeous flying penguin, also dead.

more flying penguins

pretend fishes and flying penguins

pterodactyl or something... and some random guys head.

Orang-Utan skeleton

PHAR LAP!!

Penguin! (also dead!)

Little blue penguin

weird toothy animal.

cute little dinosaur.

weird toothy dog/reptile thingy

so these are just some of the photos i took today at the melbourne museum. :D If you ever get the chance to go there, please do. :)

Dear Potential New Friends

2009-07-02T14:56:00.003+10:00

As I do not know you yet, please let me provide you with my ground rules.

1. Do not be unnecessarily rude to me, unless in jest. This includes calling me names or implying something mean about me or something i hold dear.

2. Do not call me repeatedly and if I don't pick up, leave a message and I may get back to you.

3. I can take a joke, but only if its funny

4. Don't crowd me

5. Do not ask for money

6. You will not be allowed to my house for at least 4 months, I must get to know you better

7. Do not ask to use my phone, if you have used all of your credit, why would i let you use mine?

8. Do not ask to have a taste of my food if you see me with some, its rude and leaves me hungry. If I'm full i might offer you some.

9. Do not equate your life circumstances to mine, we have been raised by different people and lived different lives

10. if you are lucky enough to be invited into my house, don't yell, don't have arguments on msn on my computer, don't eat all my food and if you are bored GO HOME.

In return I will,

1. Listen to your problems

2. Go out for coffee with you

3. Not give unwanted advice

4. Tell you when your butt looks big in that

5. Not trash talk your loser boyfriend

6. Not ring your phone unless its urgent

7. Not expect anything from you

8. Wont ask to borrow anything off you

9. Will be polite and keep my trashy mouth to a minimum

10. Possibly lend you something.

Take these rules into account and we might have the beginning of a beautiful friendship. If not you weren't worth my time in the first place. I give only one chance, fuck it up and I'll let you go.

Regards

Christine

HELLLLOOOOOO ANYONE OUT THERE???

2009-06-25T23:43:00.002+10:00

1. the course is going well. Already snowed under, cant wait for it to be overrrrrrrr!!!

2. hopefully seeing transformers 2 this weekend

3. Hell has frozen over, well... half over. The flatmate removed the coke can from the Shower, only to replace it with ....

you guessed it. Another one. Only this time its a red one. Similar to this ....

http://www.redstaplerchronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/cokecan.jpg

so if someone wants to photoshop the black can out and the red can in... go for it! Still working on the counter for it, the one i found didnt work and the one Dam Buster told me about i couldnt figure out... (its been a long week)

So i shall leave ya hanging!!!

btw, as for the organisation.. Ya not so much. Oy.

And then there was....

2009-06-18T11:31:00.000+10:00

Things are gonna be pretty quiet around here for a little while. The course is going great :) I'm loving every freaking minute of it. I have lots of homework and will soon have Placement. This means i wont be able to be on here as much :( I need to get organised (see previous post OY!) and I need to work my pretty little ass off.

I also got rid of the pile of clothes in the corner of the pic, and after grocery shopping I will see how much money I have left and I might bring home a new member of the family... Tommy The Tub. :P

But anyhoo i need to go get my groceries and then do some cookin, so i will see you all on the flip side :)

As requested... before pics!

2009-06-14T19:58:00.003+10:00

Some of this is mess yes... but the rest is sh** i mean stuff i need to organise.

ORGANISATION!!!

2009-06-13T22:38:00.002+10:00

If you find cleaning boring, or dont want a long winded read, please come back soon.

My room is so disorganised. Seriously, i cant find anything. I store my packaged food in my room, so it wont get eaten by others and so i always know what i have. I have GAZILLIONS of plush toys stuffed in the top of my wardrobe. I have a metal bookcase that holds my penguin collection, books, dvds and on the bottom shelf is random pages and important documents that dont have homes. i keep buying things for when i move out, such as mugs and kitchen utensils and they have no home. I frequently lose the important documents I need.

I when i bought my bed I got a free set of kitchen appliances; Toaster, kettle ect. They are currently hiding under my bed, which is a great place for them, if i could get to them. I have a large suitcase filled with air that if i could get it under the bed would be a great place to store the things i buy for my house.

I have what i have seen called a "floordrobe" i cannot get into my wardrobe to put my clothes away due to the amount of clothes i have.

THIS IS ALL GOING TO CHANGE!!

I have worked out that when my life is messy, so is my room. I aim to change this. Starting this week I am getting my life and room back in order. First order of business is a storage unit, something like this :

I plan to put food in the top one (all in individual containers of course) towels and face washers in the second, laundry detergent and all that related stuff in the third drawer and other random stuff in the top.

If i can afford it, I will go to the reject shop and get some pretty boxes of all shapes and sizes (and just realised theres a 6!! drawer thing i want for 40 bucks, me thinks thats coming home with me this week, it will help with other things i need to do to organise stuff) I need boxes for dvds and other stuff that doesnt have a home. Also on the plus side i can put the TV on top of the drawers and finally unpack the boxes that have been sitting there since we moved last December.

So thats the plan for this week! Lets get organised!!

Update!!

2009-06-12T14:54:00.002+10:00

I have to run and get packed as i am going to the bf's for the weekend so this quickie will have to satisfy :P

1. i start my childcare course on monday, silly me has lost her timetable (its in my room somewhere) and so i havent been able to sort placement... whoops.

2. the flatmare and the evil gf are still the same. lets just leave it at that. (though i have gotten the tv more often)

3. my health hasnt been terrible lately (touch wood) havent felt sick or anything. weirdly for me.

4. Mums birthday was on the 8th, i went halves (i am a poor jobseeker after all DONT JUDGE ME :P) in her present. Its a Cars (childrens movie) doona/blanket thing. i knew she'd love it and she wants it, so i now have to wrangle a GIANT post pack down the street like an idiot. oh wells. I prolly made her look like an idiot when i was a kid, it must be nice to get revenge.

5. I finished the series of books i was ready, Merry Gentry series by Laurell K Hamilton. Now what am I gonna read? Borders has 5 books by Kathy Reichs for 45 bucks, maybe that one. considering i spent about 70 bucks on three books in a week......... *blush*

6. I cant stop listening to Paramore. Im thinking of taking stuff off my mp3 player and just loading it up with Paramore. damn geek crushes. hehe

so how are you??

I dont know why i bother asking anymore, so instead i grab my camera.

2009-06-09T17:07:00.003+10:00

Yeah, Bathroom again. I have no idea. Flatmate and his GF are here. *rolls eyes* Your guess is as good as mine... FYI I bought him that bear.

Six word saturday.

2009-06-07T01:44:00.000+10:00

watching weeds, cant sleep. boy snoring

This weeks Playlist

2009-06-06T23:09:00.002+10:00

1. Make this go on forever - Snow Patrol (Eyes Open)
2.Permanent Monday - Jordin Sparks (Jordin Sparks)
3.Thinking of You - Katy Perry (One of the boys)
4.Something in your mouth - Nickleback (Dark Horse)
5.What I've Done - Linkin Park (Minutes to midnight)
6.Flawed - Delta Goodrem (Innocent Eyes/ Japanese movie soundtrack)
7.We Are Broken - Paramore (Riot!)
8.Alfie - Lily Allen (Alright, Still)
9.Wasted - Carrie Underwood (Some Hearts)
10. S.O.B - Lisa Marie Presley (To Whom It May Concern)

Some of this stuff is music thats been released ages ago but i still love it. The cd of the week is another tie! Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight and Snow Patrol - Eyes Open.

Six unemportant things meme

2009-06-04T12:05:00.002+10:00

1. walking to bed after i've stayed at the boys house and seeing him sprawled over the bed.
2. my legs, if i didnt have them i'd have no way to escape.
3. The city, being able to get out of the house and go to the most beautiful place in the world is a feeling that is so amazing.
4. a full stomach.
5. reaching out when i am alone and finding my link to the boy - a penguin he bought me
6. Hearing a friends voice on the phone and knowing that there is someone who cares for me.

Another award!

2009-06-04T12:01:00.002+10:00

Carma is getting many awards and so she hands them on. :D I am not complaining! This is the most recent one.. isnt it pretty?

Thanks Carma :)

This is what happened...

2009-06-04T11:31:00.002+10:00

The flatmate came home (will now on be called the flat mare or FM for short.) I said to him i was gonna cook some food. He said cool as long as you clean up after yourself. He then went on to say that If i left something sitting around he'e either throw it out or into my room. He also said that he was going to be the cleaning nazi. I tried to defend myself by saying, i dont leave stuff around until he does, (which is true) to which he replied that no i dont, and I dont help him clean i just leave. He also said that he hasnt seen me clean more than i needed for the meal i was about to cook. It was at about that stage that i was in such an amount of shock that i nodded and fled back into my room. I later realised that he was serious about the throwing out/into my room, because i bought lunch yesterday and left the container in the sink soaking, I was planning on cleaning it when i cleaned everything else when i made dinner that night. I thought later, hang on i havent washed it so where has it gone? He's thrown it. No warning, no asking me why it was there, hes just thrown it out.

I admit that I am not a cleaner. My room will attest to that, and yes i have been going off to the boy's place because HELLO I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!! I will defend myself by saying, that I try to not use much. I have my own coffee mug and plastic cup. I also do not use much because I am never!! here. I am normally at the boys every 2 nd night. One night home, one night at his, one night home. that kinda thing.

This rant and insults came out of the blue. I knew he was annoyed with the mess but it wasnt all mine. I know his GF is coming down on saturday and going home next sunday (oh joy... not) and he wants the house clean for her.

A friend came over last night and we cooked two meals (quesadas and shepards pie) and then washed everything. we were in my room looking at my computer, when my phone rang, (it was the boy) I went out of my room and the FM had the audacity to wave at me... Yeah i'm still pissed. He thinks he's won because we cleaned up. He doesnt realise that when the time is right I'm not going to tell him i'm moving, he'll just come home one day to find me gone. I'm sad the friendship has come down to this, but its not all my fault.

and then...

2009-06-03T16:41:00.001+10:00

so i pulled up this page, with every intention to write something. but as i sit here in tears because of the flatmate i am filled with the desire to do one thing:

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

CANDY!!

2009-06-02T20:16:00.003+10:00

isnt it yummy? the love heart sherbet thing is gone, as is the curly wurly and chomp and so are the fads. I wanted candy!!

blog changes

2009-05-30T18:03:00.000+10:00

As you can see, I have changed my blog. Still more to come! Wait and see!!

About me

2009-05-30T16:24:00.003+10:00

coming soon!!

One of my theme songs

2009-05-30T03:09:00.002+10:00

Alanis Morissette - Unprodigal Daughter

I had disengaged to avoid being totaled
I would run away and say good riddance, soon enough
I had grown disgusted by your small-minded ceiling
Imagine myself bolting had not been difficult

Soon be my life
Soon be my pace
Soon be my choice of which you'll have no part of

Unprodigal daughter and I'm heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last
Id invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed

I hit the ground running, although I know not what toward
I hit the town feeling, forgetting all that came before
I felt primed and ready, once surrounded by the pawns
I felt culture shocked, but dissuaded, I was not

This is my town
This is my voice
This is my taste of which you've have no part of

Unprodigal daughter and I'm heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last
Id invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed

One day Ill saddle back and speak of foreign adventures
One day Ill double back and tell you about these unfettered years
One day Ill look back and feel something other than relieved
Glad that I left when I did before, I know you, you cant get the best of me

When Id speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward
When Id speak of spirituality you would label it absurd
When I spoke of possibility you would frown and shake your head
If I had stayed much longer, Id have surely imploded

These are my words
This is my house
These are my friends of which you've had no part

Unprodigal daughter and I'm heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last
Id invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed

Unprodigal daughter and I'm heading for the west
Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough
Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last
Id invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed

random meme thing

2009-05-28T22:07:00.003+10:00

What is your favorite song of all time?
Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses

What is your favorite animal?
Penguins

Favorite childhood vacation?
going home from dads to mums.

Worst christmas gift ever received?
a pencil sharpener plane. daddy you fail.

Do you have a name for your car?
if i had one i'd name it Maleficent

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Scotland or Canada

Where would you hate to live?
somewhere i couldnt escape from

What is your favorite flower?
roses and pansys

Do you know anyone famous?
Nope

If you were an animal, what whould you be?
a wolf or something with teeth and feet, i dont wanna be the hunted, i wanna be the hunter.

Who is your role model?
i'm trying really hard to be my own role model

Do you care what others think of you?
sometimes if its someone i love

What are your views on homosexuality?
it is what it is, im not going to discriminate.

Do you have any regrets?
not so much anymore.

Are you hot natured or cold natured?
hot with some people, cold with others

Playlist of the week

2009-05-28T21:50:00.002+10:00

This is my new bloggy thing. i'm gonna try and do it every week :) (lets see how i go shall we?)

1. My heart is open - Keith Urban (defying gravity)
2. Fuck you - Lily Allen (Its not me, its you)
3. you took the words right out of my mouth - Meatloaf (Bat out of hell)
4. Sober - Pink (Funhouse)
5. Take a bow - Leona Lewis (Spirit)
6. Halo - Beyonce (I am... Sasha Feirce)
7. I do not hook up - Kelly Clarkson (All I ever wanted)
8. Rain on your parade - Duffy (Rockferry)
9. Ur so gay - Katy Perry
10. Holding out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler

this weeks favorite cd is a draw between Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted, and Duffy - Rockferry.

Whats your top ten and favorite cd of the week?

Mums Shepard pie

2009-05-26T19:36:00.003+10:00

this is my shepards pie!

ingredients:
Mince, corn and peas, gravy for the filling, i cheated with the potato and made "deb" instant mash potato for the top and topped it with cheese. I made the gravy in the pan after i made the mince and it turned out quite well, i made it a little too thick but it didnt matter in the end. this is just a rough recipe, but it tastes good. no salt or pepper and its great :D

Scotland Promise

2009-05-19T12:37:00.003+10:00

Grandpa was a Scotsman, he met my grandmother while he was in Canada. They came back to Scotland and lived there for a year, Until the opportunity came for them to emigrate to Australia.

fast forward a few dozen years, and he had died. He went back to Scotland in 1997 and sent postcards back to Australia to his grandchildren. I have his diaries, I went looking for the postcards.

I found them and read them. The postcard that he sent to me said that he had visited some castles and hadn't seen any ghosts. There and then I said that I would go to Scotland and see these castles and see a Ghost.

Whether that be because I was full of grief or something else, but I made this promise and I intend to keep it.

That is the story :)

Meme stolen from Carma

2009-05-18T00:51:00.003+10:00

Rules of the meme. Respond and rework. Answer questions on your own blog. Replace one question. Add one question. Tag 6 people (again, I'm going to leave this open to whoever wants to participate- please let me know if you do!)

1. What are your current obsessions? Castle, Dollhouse, Calfornication and Boss - Soul

2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? Jeans and Jammies

3. Last dream you had? one about my father.

4. Last thing you bought? food and cold and flu tablets

5. What are you listening to? Castle playing on my computer and my typing

6. What is your favorite color? black or red

7. Favorite holiday spots? Anywhere that isnt mums house or my sisters (we dont get along, holidays are another kind of hell)

8. Reading right now? Tales Of the Otori book 1 - Heavens Net is wide

9. Four words to describe yourself. crazy, opinionated, sick, tired

10. Guilty pleasure? Erotica

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak? the boy running his fingertips over my side and my hip.. makes my hair stand on end.

12. Favorite spring thing to do? go to the city

13. Planning to travel to next? Mums, Perth or somewhere close.

14. Best thing you ate or drank lately? Lemonade. also icey poles

15. Dream vacation? Scotland to fufill a promise

16. Favorite ever film? Dumbo or Sweet Home Alabama

17. Care to share some wisdom? never forget clean underwear

18. Song you can't get out of your head? the theme song from Castle

19. Thing you are looking forward to? having a job and getting a house

20. What makeup item would you like to purchase next? i dont wear makeup, but i would like some earrings.

21. Who would star as you in a movie about your life? and why? (can be living or deceased) Sandra Bullock cos i love her movies.

I dont tag anyone, do this yourself and I'll answer your question :D

the flatmate strikes again

2009-05-17T12:11:00.003+10:00

When we moved in I was informed there was to be no shoes in the house. As you can see by this photo he is breaking his own rules. Please note, my blog is not going to become a place where i can ridicule my flatmate, but sometimes things need to be shared.

That sign says " Shoes off please"
but those are his shoes on the kitchen table.
what you cant see in this photo is the shoe rack under the sign on the floor....

so logically, he had to walk past the sign, kick off his shoes, and then pick them up to put the on the table...

This is the moment when it gets so much easier to move out later.

Coke can in the shower

2009-05-14T19:12:00.003+10:00

Yes that is my shower.
Yes thats a coke can in my shower.
I cannot explain this.
I assume It's still in there, I havent looked.
All the coke in the house belongs to the flatmate.
If someone can explain why, I'd love to hear it.

Train Musings.

2009-05-13T23:48:00.002+10:00

I wrote this on the back of an envelope while on the train. I have not changed how I wrote it, I will just recite it here verbatim.

I am not as old as some
and not as young as others
I am trying to find my place in the world

I stand at the middle of a tall never ending ladder
the rungs below me are gone,
lessons i have learned
shame, humility, love
the bridges i have burned and the
people i have loved
and lost

I am joined occasionally
as I climb by new friends,
old friends and lovers alike

The past lives on below me,
the future a rung ahead
I am climbing a ladder of Life
measured by Life
Not age.

I was thinking as I wrote this about people's lives. Am i five steps ahead of my friends who still live with their parents? One rung back because I'm not good at maths? Am I ahead because I am more mature because of the fact I have to rely on myself more and my friends don't have to worry where next weeks food is coming from? I am not on the same rung as some as my friends, some may be more mature, some may be less. And what happens when we reach the end? maybe its not a never ending ladder, it just appears that way.

I have been reflecting on my life and wondering about my legacy. I am only 20 but I have no superannuation or savings, how am i going to retire? My body feels like its falling apart how am I going to deal when I am older? I do not lead a carefree life, as much as I try to pretend I do. I am worried about my future because I am stuck in a box in my present.

(I did not mean for this post to be so ... deep, but its all true.)

8 things meme

2009-05-11T17:46:00.002+10:00

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

Moving out on my own
going to the zoo again
being able to afford everything i want and need
tomorrow
washing the mountain of clothes in my bedroom
changing my sheets
finishing off the book i am reading
grocery shopping

8 Things I Did Today:

went on a train
listened to my mp3 player
made muffins with the boy (technically yesterday but it was at 11.00 at night)
washed some clothes
went with the flatmate and bought a dryer
looked at washing machines and realised i can afford one
cooked myself dinner
twittered my little fingers to the bone

8 Things I Wish I Could Do

move out as soon as i can
be independent
not let others get me down
travel the world
get a tattoo
drink and not have a hang over
win the lottery
get a job

8 Shows I Watch:

Grey's Anatomy
Spicks and Specks
Gruen Transfer
Brothers and Sisters
Underbelly
The View
Private Practice
Ellen

Stolen from Carma

Am meant to tag 8 people but i don't have that many readers
if you happen to see it and feel like doing it, leave a link in my comments and I'll add you to this post.

Six word saturday.

2009-05-10T01:00:00.002+10:00

eating chocolate. rolling off to bed.

Stolen from Carma

Info found here

update of sorts

2009-05-06T00:07:00.002+10:00

Well, today I recieved a call to get my act together. I didnt get a job that I so desperately need. I cried for about five minutes and then decided to go to Safeway and drown my sorrows in Iced Coffee, mousse and marshmallows.

So this brings me to this...

FUCK. I need a job to be able to move out in November. Time is RUNNING out!! Theres only so much i can save per week, and i need to do it now. I'm seriously in the shit. Excuse all the swearing but i am so scared and so stressed out. I applied to work at Macdonalds, so hopefully that gets me somewhere. I can't believe i'm still stuck in the rut i was in when i was at home, Just not at home and with more money, and more sex...

Hopefully this time next year I'll be able to look back and think all this struggling meant something. Hopefully.

Another Award from Carma

2009-05-02T23:10:00.003+10:00

This was given to me by Carma, the most delightfully funny person I know in blogland.

The Rules are as follows:

Include the award logo in your blog or post.
Nominate as many blogs which you like.
Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I'm still giggling over the fact that I guessed her new hobby...

See this post
Stepping outside my comfort zone by carma

and then this one
You Guessed it!

BWAHAHAH

and the people i tag with the award are (i dont have many readers)

so i tag
Dam Buster and Frogdancer.

apparently i'm prideful...

2009-04-25T00:16:00.000+10:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

rules for my life

2009-04-17T01:19:00.001+10:00

i was on the train this morning, heading to the most beautiful city on earth, whiny squeaky LOUD school kids were fucking everywhere, the train was packed. i looked out my window and took in the sights. My thoughts wandered...

1. i dont regret not going to my sisters wedding, im actually quite glad i didnt.
2. as much as i love my family i dont need them anymore
3.there arent many things in my life i regret anymore
4. sometimes its okay to cry when i'm alone
5. smiling is forgotten on a day when nothing is going right
6. i dont have to be strong all the time, its okay to fall apart
7. i may be stressed out and jobless, but i'm living away from my family and not asking them for anything
8. i'm independant
9. when people are idiots relish in the fact i got more brain cells
10. when the world gets to be too much, remember people love you for you.

sometimes i forget these rules when i'm feeling down and sorry for myself. I've lived out of home since January 11th 2008 and i havent run home with my tail between my legs yet, though sometimes i have run to my boyfriend's place and let him pick up my pieces.

Oh, and when everything is going to shit... chocolate takes the pain away if not, try some grog as well

open letter to an ex friend.

2009-03-10T16:05:00.003+11:00

Dear J

I cant stop thinking about the very last time i talked to you. It annoys me that you think i ended the friendship over such a little thing. I ended the friendship because you told everyone MY SECRETS. I told NO ONE yours. You told me it was hard being your friend, and that you didnt want to see me. I was the one to come see you. You came to my side of town ONCE! and you couldnt be bothered coming to see me. You rang me from the tram on the way home. You wondered why i was so upset with you. I thought we were friends, hell i thought we were best friends.

The straw that broke the camels back was when you said you didnt think you could afford to buy me a birthday present, and then turned around and got your friends to pay for a tattoo. You didnt even want to come and see me for my birthday. My man made it the best day ever.

Now back to the telling of secrets. I admit i called you a whore, though i did it in good fun. You Broke the "no sleeping with a guy on the first date pact" and then you found out he was taken. I didnt call you a whore when i found that out did I? and somehow your "friends" guess i slept with that guy... when i had told NO ONE. I didnt tell you everything when i realised i couldnt trust you. You told everyone but me what I NEEDED TO KNOW THE MOST. NO ONE ELSE NEEDED TO KNOW MY BUISNESS. You said everyone told you to not tell me because i wouldnt believe you over him. Ya know what? i dont care anymore. i did worse to him than he did to me.

I ended the friendship because i couldnt trust you. You talked down to me, you made me feel like i wasnt good enough and you just couldnt be bothered to talk to me anymore. I know we went from talking every day to talking once a week for about an hour. do you know how that made me feel?

I always stood up for you. I defended you! But you turned your back on me and stabbed me in my back. You thought oh, lets not tell her shit WHEN SHE NEEDED TO KNOW THE MOST. I know you lied to me about what you did with M. And instead of keeping your fucking mouth shut you should have fucking told me about what A had planned for me, instead of after the fact.

You are a lying, ungrateful bitch. You feel so miserable about yourself that you had to make me feel crap about me. You told everyone my secrets, and i kept yours to myself. This is the last time i will ever think of you again. I have my friends i trust, and they can keep it. Unlike you.

Love from C

I've been given my first award!

2009-03-01T10:57:00.003+11:00

*bows oh so gracefully at the feet of Carma * (from http://carmasez.blogspot.com/) she gave me my first award!!!!

"The award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day."

The rules are to Link to 15 blogs you know that are worthy of this award. I dont know that many people, but i know one i wish it had gone to. Mad Asthmatic. Miss you Girl.

So i dont really have many people to tag to. Though, anyone who reads my blog deserves it!

Lots of love... CR

So...

2009-02-16T17:07:00.002+11:00

Still bored, but handling it better. I'm gonna aim to get out of the house and go somewhere everyday. sometimes i can't be bothered, and thats when i sit and watch Ellen and daytime tv (except the soapies (im not that desperate)) I also am becoming more domesticated (oh god) and actually cooking for myself, not just starving myself. Speaking of starving i have laminton things i havent even opened. :o must find them (i hide food in my room so the people i live with wont eat it) So soon i am going to go to the movies, i'm thinking of going and seeing "He's just not that into you" please leave me a comment if you've seen it and what you think of it.

Mum is talking to me again, but my sister isn't. weird family.

booooooooooooored

2009-02-04T13:34:00.003+11:00

Yeah, im bored. no job, no money to go out, and wondering what is for dinner with less than 80 bucks in my bank account. Though it is fun to just sit and watch random teevee. I made some yummy spagetti and then some yummy potato salad, and green jelly :D

I'm trying to hard to be funny or insightful, but its just not happening, I somehow don't think that i'm that kind of person. I had another fight with my mother and sister... over a shirt of all things. I'm not going to her wedding.

I miss going to work.

Missing ...

2009-01-23T08:07:00.002+11:00

Found out/ was told that one of the people who regularly commented on my blog died. Most people knew Mad Asthmatic. I will miss her, i always looked forward to reading her clever words in her blog and she always knew what to say to me, and as i've seen she knew what to say to everyone. She is no longer in pain. God Bless.

2009-01-21T01:04:00.000+11:00

i have another blog up and running. My own personal library. http://myownpersonallibrary.blogspot.com/

please stop by when you get a chance.

Um.. Update.

2009-01-21T00:40:00.000+11:00

Yeah... so i was "let go" from my job.

but life is looking up!! more to come later :)

Ahhhhhhhh.............................

2009-01-05T22:54:00.003+11:00

YAY i got the job :D:D:D:D:D:D started it today. (well a job of sorts)
I wont be doing the job i was hired to do until next week for this week i am playing receptionist. Did i mention i hate people? It seems okay though, only hung up on two people.

Went visiting mum and my sister for xmas... that didnt go well....
then went to ballarat for new years. that was GREAT.

went to see the penguins at the melb aquarium. $19.50 later.... i have some kick ass photos though :P will post when i get around to it.

thats all for now, merry christmas, happy new year and many returns for the month :)

bitter and twisted

2008-11-18T20:08:00.001+11:00

i shouldn't be this twisted... surely not

One to One.... (Joe Jackson song)

2008-11-15T23:19:00.002+11:00

So tonight i'm going to just type with nothing in mind. i do my best thinking when i do it this way.

Last night i went to bed with a headache and then woke up with one this morning, the little fucker wont go away. I get migranes all the time, they are set off by high-pitched noises such as beeping, some instruments distorted on cds stuff like that. bloody annoying really. so I've been yawning and ouching all day.

i just got told by one of my friends that i'm an angel.. i think shes delusional. but i love her to bits anyway.

looks like i'm heading to perth for xmas. i'm slightly pissed off about something relating to that, but i will finally get to meet one of my best ever friends so i'm happy about that.

you know those people who walk really slow when you need to get somewhere fast?
and those people who stop in the MIDDLE of the footpath?
i want to slap them all in the back of their heads. i live in a CITY, when i moved here i assumed everyone walked fast, but fuck no! they walk as slow as FREAKING possible. Why is it also, that when i'm late i get the slowest drivers of public transport ever? they all go about 5 freaking centimeters per hour! Grrr......

and thats the end of this randomness.

blood and guts
CR

I will .....

2008-11-07T23:18:00.000+11:00

i just confessed a lot of things i've been hauling around in my brain for awhile and now it is time to let them go.

1. Instead of being surprised when he says he loves me, i'll be grateful and say it back, while letting him see my feelings in my eyes.

2. i will smile when all i want to do is cry

3. i will not take anything for granted, least of all my friends and my money

4. I will tell my mother i love her, even when i'm angry at her

5. I will take all that comes my way and deal with it myself, it wont kill me it will make me stronger

6. i will treat myself to something i enjoy just because i can

7. I will love myself as much as i can

8. I will smile at least 3 times a day

9. i will do something i enjoy daily

10. I will stress less and love more

.....

so tomorrow, i will be going for a walk at southbank because i enjoy it there, i will be talking to my man and telling him i appreciate him and love him, i will call my mum on sunday and tell her i love her, and i will smile lots at life :)

Heres a smile for you... :D

Exams and Life...

2008-11-07T19:26:00.002+11:00

i looked across the room and watched others
scribble loudly on their pages
i looked down at mine
flipped to an easier question
my mind went numb
when did i learn this?
more to the point,
when did i forget it?

.....

i dont know what i've done in my exams.

i did my sociology one, i thought i did good, but others told me they didnt finish the exam, yet i got mine all done and left early... so i dont know how i did.

Then came Literature...
Essays arent my strong point. Ask me to have an opinion verbally and i can make you understand, ask me to write it down in an hour and i fail miserably. i had to write two essays in two hours on texts i had read over this year (not as easy as it sounds) the catch is, we get three passages from the texts to write about. i think i did okay, not great, just okay.

then came work...
lets just say i expected innapropriate comments from the factory workers, not the guy who is essentially the team leader. needless to say, i'm not staying in this job long....

next exam is on tuesday, so i get monday and tuesday off work (thank god)

so lets talk about life shall we?

I might not be seeing my man at all this weekend, and I'm worried because most times when he does work weekends and doesnt sleep well he gets really sick. i reminded him to eat at regular times and i hope he gets sleep tonight. normally i dont worry because he gets to be at home working, not out in the field.

I really miss my school friends. i dont get to see them as often and i dont want to lose them. I'm heading home to mums soon, she wanted me to come home for xmas, so i'm dragging my man with me (4 hour train ride) that will be probably on the 5th of december... maybe.

But yesterday... i fell up an escalator... it wasnt going fast enough for me (yeah i am that weird.)

how was your week?

HELP!!!!

2008-10-25T12:16:00.001+11:00

How do i keep myself focused on study???????

I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEE

2008-10-24T23:18:00.002+11:00

Tafe ended yesterday (thursday the 23rd) wooooooooooohooo!!!! went shopping with job money to celebrate... bought ass sexy jeans from jay jays, PRETTY girly high heels with bows and fake laces on them at Imagination for TEN DOLLARS!!!!!!! down from 59 bucks :0 i can barely walk in them, but they are so cute :D and a pair of canvas shoes. i spent too much money :( oh well, since tafe is over i can work as much as i want, just having days off to go to exams. First one on the 5th, second on the 6th, third on the 11th and the last one on the 19th. no fussed if i do bad, i only did this course so i could come to melbourne.

work is okay. one of the blokes admitted that one of the other guys is really sexist towards me. the sexist guy really pisses me off sometimes, i cant say much cos he is my boss, but sometimes i need him to back off and let me do as i do. He says he hates female workers because he has to be nice and shit like that. i'm a country girl, and a feminist in somethings, and his behavior pisses me off.

its a workplace mostly full of men, and i fit in cos i dont expect any special treatment, if i want something i'll get it myself!! Argh. it may sound like i'm a spoiled brat, but if you had to put up with the guy standing over you telling you to be quicker, to get more done, and that he hates female workers, it would get you down too. Hes a nice guy, he just needs a reality check when it comes to me... how do you think i could say it without sounding bratty??

mum and sister are being nice to me.... what do they want???

Gooey, Mushy Musings

2008-10-20T00:09:00.002+11:00

I'm sitting in my man's bed listening to him snore. i'm so glad he is in my life, i wouldnt have stayed in melbourne so long if it wasnt for him, i'd be miserable and broke. (not to mention starving because i didnt have money for food, and i cant cook anyway)

ive known him since i was 16, but i only met him this year. he makes me happy, after a bad day hearing his voice makes it all better. he hasnt run away even though he has seen how broken and twisted i am. I love him so much :)

Random Musings

2008-10-15T19:11:00.002+11:00

sitting here watching one of my favorite tv shows "Two and a Half Men" so funny! So i'm sitting here relaxing after my ouch head and bad day. I worked again today, was okay i guess. i fucked up but my boss fixed it cos it was something i hadnt done before.

Tafe was as boring as ever, thank god this is the last week. i got kicked out of a class on tuesday, apparently i wasnt paying attention. i dont think i care, i cried when another teacher saw me though, i dont really know why. a bad day i guess. i was a bit shocked the teacher kicked me out, i seriously wasnt expecting that. i dont want to face her tomorrow morning, but that might mean that she bested me, so i want to show how tough i am. (its a long story to my insane -ness)

so tomorrow i get up at shit-o- clock and go to a class that i hate, all to save face pretty much. so this is another brain vomit post.

Life in the crazy world of me

2008-10-12T16:17:00.000+11:00

so i have an examy thingy on tuesday, working all day monday at my spiffy job, then three days of tafe, and more job on friday. hopefully sometime in there i'll get to see my man, and see my friends. I really wanna buy a new book and i know i have the money for it, just gotta wait for the money and steal the angus and robertson card off my man. I love books, they make my brain happy :) I've been re-reading the Anita Blake books by Laurell K Hamilton. I also wanna get the rest of the "Tales Of The Otori" books by Lian Hearn, theres two more i need to get, argh! now i'm working i want to spoil myself of all the things i couldn't get when i didn't have the money, but i still need to save up for Christmas and all that stuff.

Then theres the exam things before that. BLAGH!!!! meh, i dont need to do well i dont even care if i do well, just seems a waste of a year if i don't do well. I know i'm not gonna do well in a class, i keep getting D's and i had an E, so meh, not worried.

And this is the end of my brain fart post. Stay tuned for next time's Brain Fart, where i talk about my job and all the other shit in my head.

C

Open letter to the bitch who dissed me.

2008-10-10T20:29:00.000+11:00

Dear Broad,

The words that come out of your mouth don't show maturity. In fact they mostly are really bitchy. we used to be good friends, and now I don't want a damn thing to do with you. you are so arrogant it amazes me sometimes, and you tell me I can't live in the real world. You talk about your boyfriend who is old enough to be your father like that is something to be proud of. Yes, you moved from another country, and yes, you have a job, and yes you paid so much to do this course that doesn't get you anywhere anyway... so stop whining. You honestly think you are so much better than everyone else because you are from a damn overseas country, you think you are smarter than everyone else because you get good marks. You are so up yourself its just sad now. You told me i wasnt mature enough to handle the real world, but i've moved out of home and even though i didnt have a job until today, i was managing things well. What does that even mean? Mature enough for the real world, i certainly don't have the opinion of you thats really mature, you are friends with older people yes, you have a much older boyfriend and your father paid for this tafe course, how does that make you better than me? why in the hell do you think you are better than me? you've traveled the world, but does that make you able to live in the real world? i have the opinion of no. so don't you be arrogant and annoying just because you think you are better than me, you dont even know me.

Grow up and realise that its not ALL ABOUT YOU

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (happy noise)

2008-10-05T19:44:00.001+11:00

Today has been a REALLY good day. i miss my man like crazy but he rang me this afternoon so I'm all good. Happy Happy Joy JOY!! damn i'd love a slice of piggy right now! i'm sitting here watching The Pacifier on tv (good movie) i've decided that Vin Deisel is hot, but he was better in The Fast and The Furious. Now im watching 60 Minutes, watching little brats getting credit cards. I'm not in debt to anyone just my mum and my flatmate. watching stuff like this is pissing me off, i dont live on much and these brats want everything, these are people my age and older! how in the hell did my mother bring my sister and i up to not want everything? fuckin crazy! i'm not getting a credit card until i have job security and i'm not getting a plan on my phone until i at least have a job. that stuff just annoys me, if you dont have the money to buy it in the first place, then wait save up and THEN buy it. You dont need it right away, if you have survived for years without it, you arent gonna need it right away. argh, my good mood is still here, but i'm annoyed at stupidity!

take care!
dont get in debt

C

Broken...

2008-10-02T21:23:00.000+10:00

i need tissues for my issues.
normally i'm happy and bubbly, i love being me.
when i get tired and stressed or something reminds me
memories come out of the box i hide them in
and ruin me
thoughts fly through
with no end in sight
of all the past things
i went to him that night, and he made me forget
the man who i dont think realises just how hard it is
for me to love... anyone
the feeling is going now
this i know
i'll be okay for now, i always am
it doesnt ever last that long
it just breaks me for a little while

Musings

2008-09-19T18:22:00.001+10:00

hm what to say, I should be doing homework, i have to summarize some stuff - that's always fun. don't know why I'm bothering, should be job searching. instead, I'm sitting on the couch, watching "Pretty Woman"

i have come to the realisation that life is not a fairytale (shock horror i know) these stories in the movies and on TV, aren't real. i wish sometimes they were. if i could have anything i wanted right now i would have my man in the room with me, we don't have to be talking, i just want to be able to lay my eyes on him when i want to. i have fallen so hard for this guy, im gonna be a wreck when we break up.

Hollywood delights in the corny endings, and for once I'm a girl about them. "what happened after the knight climbed up and rescued her? "

"she rescued him right back"

my inner feminist is screaming for joy.

First Ever Post

2008-09-19T18:22:00.000+10:00

well it was warm today and now its cold. i was up all night last night reading a bloody funny blog by
Kelley at http://www.magnetoboldtoo.com/. she had me in HISTERICS!

anyhoo, heres a bit about me.
Age - 20 (as of the 15th of september)
location - the Bestest most beautiful city Melbourne Australia
Current occupation - Student/ job seeker
Favorite food - does ice cream count as food?
Favorite drink - Milkshakes

i recently cut caffeine out of my diet, though i did cave and steal one of my flatmates diet colas (it was for my sore throat i Swear!!) i dont know if i feel better or worse for not having it, i'm not craving it, i still like the smell, i still have bad sleeping habits and my skin is still pimpled. Crazy me for thinking it would change something.

excuse my jumping from topic to topic but my brain is vomiting!

This blog is called Crazy Raincloud - musings from the silver lining because i'm crazy (everyone tells me i am) and i love the rain. i'm also semi optimistic, unless someone has done something to me, or life is just being a big fat pain in the arse. as it is at the moment due to the fact i have a headcold. though its almost over and i can finally see my boyfriend without thinking i cant kiss him because i'll make him sick, thats the thing with sharing saliva, if he gets sick, i get sick and vise versa. i really miss kissing him :( ive been sick for months from the end of Febuary to now, thats alot of time sick.

i warn you now, alot of this blog wont make sense. but thats just me.